Just Like Your Mother

I work in an office that has a CT scan machine. Yesterday as I came into the front of the building, returning from an afternoon errand and seeing no patients in the waiting room, I playfully said to the receptionist, "Scan me, baby!" Well, as it turned out, the tech who is going to be the back-up tech was in the process of training on the machine and was looking for people to practice on. So I offered up my body.

I hadn't fasted or drunk any contrast material, but I put on the gown and allowed myself to be placed on the bed. I followed the instructions as to when to breathe in and out (aided by little faces on the outside of the machine that show a side view of a happy face with its cheeks puffed out--holding breath--and its mouth open--release breath). It was pretty easy. The area that was scanned was my chest and pelvis.

Afterward, I got to see my innards. Wow, it was pretty cool. I must say, I have a nice spine. Maybe I should put that information on a resume or a dating profile. The teaching tech moved the picture along and pointed out all my organs to me. I do have a heart (despite what some may say) and all the necessary organs to keep Debbie going. Hurray!

As the tech took a pass through my pictures, she started pointing out things she noticed. Had I had my thyroid examined? Yes, my trio of nodules was discovered last year and ultrasounded. We're going to follow up in 2 years to see if they've grown, moved or added a fourth and formed a Barbershop Quartet. Did I know that one adrenal gland was much smaller than the other one (another hormone issue)? No, or is it that the other one is just larger? Maybe together they average out to what two normal adrenal glands usually are. When was the last time I'd had a pelvic exam? Last fall. There appears to be a cyst on my uterus. I always wanted a sister but not a cyst. Have I had a colonoscopy? No, but that will probably one of the joys of this calendar year. The tech is used to seeing organs without food and with contrast material consumed, but she pointed out a section of diverticulosis in my colon. Oy! I was starting to feel less proud of my spine.

As I thought about all the boo-boos that were discovered with my CT scan, I realized that all parts mentioned were parts that my mother has problems with. Oy again! All during my childhood, she kept telling me that I was just like her. If I did anything, it was "Just like your mother." Is there really inherited ailments, or did she will my boo0-boos onto me with her predictions? When it comes to nodules, cysts, and "osises" (and lots of other things), I really don't want to be just like my mother!