Feeling happy, fulfilled, and peaceful

Ok, I'm feeling low. But that's not what I want to write about. Not that it matters. I don't think anyone reads this. Maybe that's ok. I'll have more freedom that way. Instead of writing about feeling low, I want to write about feeling happy and fulfilled and peaceful. I am happy, fulfilled, and peaceful. Life is good. I don't know what is going to happen next, so that means ANYTHING could happen--like an adventure or an unexpected gift. I am learning how to love myself and it is a slow process. Right now I'm so sensitive to anything that could be considered negative feedback that I cringe at the thought of something new. That's probably because I'm already beating myself up. Perfectionism is overrated. But then there are people who really do seem to tune into what's wrong, rather than what's right. I'm also working on not being one of those people. Sure, I need to critique--what works for me, what doesn't; what seems helpful and what doesn't; what I want and what I don't want. But, I don't want to live in negative land. I am grateful for all of the wonderful things in my life. I expend my energy exerting whatever positive influence I can--especially with myself. Perhaps it is a blessing that I am not employed full-time right now. Workers seem to be treated as if they have no value and I would not like that. Perhaps it's best if I'm not "out there" until I can be treated properly. I am a divine creation of the Universe and I have great value. Spirit holds me in Its care and I am well. And So It Is. Now I'm going to take bath and watch something relaxing on T.V.

Life has been interesting since I was laid off. It's been about 4 months and I'm having trouble remembering what it was like having that 7:30-4:30 job. I know that I'm glad to be out of the company I was with. From what I hear, things there just keep getting worse. And I no longer have to care.

I know I've learned to slow down some, which is nice. But at the same time, I don't have an excuse not to do something (e.g. I can't; I have to work), so I'm taking on all kinds of things. I'm exploring, so I'm trying out different things.

Still, I feel like I'm stagnating. I know I'm not, but it feels that way. Actually, I really like working only one part-time job (which is turning out to be a lot of work), but I don't like transferring money from my savings account to my checking account to live on. That's when I have to remind myself that the Universe is looking out for me and that it's only temporary. I really do want to enjoy this time off. It's nice to get to projects I haven't had time to do. It's nice to get to projects more quickly. I finished my taxes today--probably the first time I've ever gotten them done in Feb.

I used to think that if only I could be home more, life would be really good. Life has improved since I've been home more, but I need more connection to others than I'm getting. I get out and do things with people (mainly eating meals), but it's not on a regular basis and it doesn't give me the amount of connection I need.

My children are far away and very busy, so the challenge is for me to have more connection to people who help me get the right kind of connection and/or stimulation so that I can feel less isolated. Another job would put me out with people more, but the connections may be more challenging than stimulating or nurturing.

Waaaaah! I sound a little bit like a whiner. Life is good. I'd just like more/better connection to others. I place this desire in the hands of the Universe. And so it is.