Pay it forward

I had a birthday a few days ago and was so happy to receive many good wishes and some gifts. I like receiving gifts but there is something about them that makes me feel somewhat uncomfortable. I have trouble receiving a gift or gifts when I know that given current circumstances I will not be able to reciprocate in kind (amount of gifts, type of gift, value of gifts) to the person giving.

Of course, intellectually, I know that's not what gift giving is about. I know that most people (there probably are exceptions) don't give a gift to someone anticipating something in kind to be returned to them at some point--at least I know I don't. Most people give gifts because they want to and because they like to make someone else happy.

So, I need to get comfortable with the no reciprocation/less than reciprocation that has always been in my life but has shown up more persistently since my employment has not been sufficient. In other words, lately, I've been receiving more than I can repay.

Perhaps I can get more comfortable with not paying back if I feel like I can pay forward. I may not be able to give lots to the same friend who gave lots to me, but maybe I can give some to others. Maybe I can give to someone who doesn't have and wouldn't have if I didn't give. Does that make sense?

Maybe those who give to me in any way can feel like they are making an investment in others, in the chain of pay it forward. I hope so. :o)